


Never Leave A Dirty Recording Out Because It's Guaranteed That Someone Will Find It, But You Should know, Isn't That What You Wanted?

by NicotinicSugarHigh



Category: Gintama
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Strip Tease, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 17:17:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18428564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicotinicSugarHigh/pseuds/NicotinicSugarHigh
Summary: The beginning of this was basically just part of episode 268. I really wanted to write Gintoki doing this so... here it is!NSH





	Never Leave A Dirty Recording Out Because It's Guaranteed That Someone Will Find It, But You Should know, Isn't That What You Wanted?

“By becoming relatives, the Shinsengumi and Yorozuya can come to a settlement, and you’ll be cleared of all suspicion.”

Objections and obscenities erupted around the room.

“You can’t rush things along without asking the people involved how they feel,” Otose said. Never would she have thought that she’d be the person to lecture on marrying for love, but here she was. And the audacity of the police to play with the feelings of these youngsters for a political arrangement, no less. They would never get their way if she had a say in the matter. “Right, Tama?”

“I don’t mind.”

“See—”

And the words registered. “WHAT?!”

Outbursts rang across the room. But they all listened Tama’s explanation about wanting to be useful.

“Who cares if this guy gets arrested!” Kagura all but shouted, while her hands fisted at Gintoki’s hair and shoved his head from side to side. Shinpachi agreed wholeheartedly, and soon enough they were yelling about how horrible Yamazaki was.

More insults were thrown but Tama placated them, and Gintoki spoke to Okita. “As her guardians, I suppose we can at least join you for a nice meal.”

And the Shinsengumi captain was unfazed when told that he’d have to pick up their tabs. “I’m perfectly okay with that. Even if he screws it up, Yamazaki will owe me for life.”

\---

It was dark and stormy night. Lightning striked periodically as if it were emphasizing what a horrible idea this dinner was. The Shinsengumi decided to have the meal catered and reserved a restaurant that was close to their base.

“Quite the auspicious day today.” Gintoki commented.

No one laughed, and the men in front of him were all stone-faced. The Vice-Commander broke the silence. “I have a question.” His tone was formal, so Gintoki decided to keep up the pretenses despite wanting nothing more than to say something smart.

“What is it?” Gintoki asked, the question just as polite.

“Why is this happening?”

“Beats me.” Gintoki watched as the Vice-Commander slammed his hands onto the table in aggravation, clearly not liking his casual non-answer answer.

“Don’t give me that!”

And Gintoki almost felt his lips twitch. The two of them couldn’t be polite to each other even if their lives were at stake. There was no way they’d keep their tempers in long enough for this dinner to go smoothly.

“Why do we have to have a marriage meeting with you chumps?”

Gintoki decided quickly that if they had to sit through this meeting then he would make sure to at least have a little fun.

“That’s my line.” He retorted. “You’re the ones who came up with this proposal.”

Hijikata turned away from him for a moment to yell at Okita who didn’t seem to care at all. The gorilla whispered something to the Vice-Commander in a hushed tone that he couldn’t catch.

“What you really want to jump into are her private _parts_!” Hijikata shouted loud enough for everyone in the room to here.

Gintoki arched a brow. Who wanted to get into who’s pants now? He smirked and opened his fan, loudly fanning himself to make an emphasis. “What are you grumbling about over there?”

“Where’s the food and drink?” Gintoki continued. “You know, we took time out of our busy schedules to be here because you begged for our poster girl.”

“Honey, we can’t give our girl away to these rude people, right?” He asked Kagura.

“I’m amazed these lowly civil servants had the gall to make a pass at her.” Kagura said just loudly enough for everyone to hear.

“Real funny, coming from people always in the red!” Hijikata shouted, his words quick. “You should be grateful for the chance to have a marriage meeting with civil servants!”

“Dear, was that slang just now?” Kagura simpered behind her hand. “It was so crude, I couldn’t quite catch it.”

Hijikata looked like he was almost ready to jump across the table at them. He almost laughed. He clapped instead, “Get us an interpreter! We need someone well-versed in Chinese mafia jargon.”

“Who’re you calling Chinese mafia?!”

He was so easy to rile up. Gintoki made a point to pick his nose nonchalantly as the gorilla had to physically hold the Vice-Commander down from attacking them.

As the dinner commenced, they started criticizing Yamazaki and docking points from him. What points? No one knew but everyone was doing it.

Hijikata docked points from Tama, stating that she should have been more considerate of Yamazaki’s injury and that offering a napkin wasn’t going to cut it when she should have asked for a first aid kit.

“What are you on about? Do you have a problem with our girl?” Gintoki couldn’t help but ask.

“What about you? Got a problem with our boy?”

The tension in the room was getting thick, but soon the food was delivered.

\---

As he was piling thick slices of fish onto his plate he heard Kagura make a noise next to him. She looked like she needed to use the restroom urgently. “What’s going on? Do you need to poop or something?”

Kagura huffed, “No, I don’t need to poop. But I forgot that a new episode of Ladies 4 is airing now! What will I do?”

“You can just catch the re-run!” He tried to talk reason into her. “It’s not like you’ll miss much!”

“Gin-chan! You don’t understand! I have to record it cause I was planning to watch it with Soyo-chan the next time I saw her!”

“She’s a princess! I’m sure she can watch it herself.”

“No!” Kagura pouted and gave him that look. “They don’t let her watch TV!”

She started at him, her eyes not wavering from his. He sighed. “Then go. I’ll cover for you.”

“But I don’t wanna leave the food.” Kagura sniffed. “I haven’t eaten enough yet!”

Gintoki looked at her incredulously. She pouted at him again and he sighed. “Fine, I’ll go and record it. You owe me! Save me some sushi!”

Kagura grinned and started to shovel food into her mouth. His words were loss on deaf ears. He made his way to the exit, coming up with a half-assed excuse as to why he was leaving. No one seemed to pay any attention.

It was raining hard, too hard for Gintoki to make his way back home without getting completely drenched. He didn’t bring an umbrella with him to the restaurant despite the weather reports. But how was he supposed to know to trust the weather reports today? Ketsuno Ana was his saint but it wasn’t like her predictions weren’t wrong half of the time!

He tucked his hands underneath his arms, dreading the undoubtedly wet trip his journey home would be, when an idea popped up into his head. The Shinsengumi headquarters was only a block or two away from where he was, and he knew the Vice-Commander had a TV set as well as some tapes he could record over. Now that Tosshi was dead, he wouldn’t mind if ol’ Gin-chan recorded over some of those magical girl tapes, right? If anything, getting rid of those tapes would be doing Hijikata a favor!

He stealthily made his way through the gates of the headquarters, not that his sneaking around was necessary at all. With the cover of rain, no one else was crazy enough to be outside at this time anyway. Making his way to Hijikata’s room easily, he closes the door gently behind him. If he did this right, he would make it out without anyone noticing he was there at all.

He walked over to a TV set stashed in the corner of the room. It was dusty, indicating that Hijikata hadn’t used it in a long time. Jackpot! He’ll never notice what was missing if he never checks!

Gintoki skims his fingers over the stack of DVD’s neatly arranged in a storage box underneath the TV stand. Which DVD should he record over? He shrugs, it’s not like it matters that much anyway. He decides to go for the most recent DVD, but a case without a label catches his eye. There are a couple more cases that don’t seem like they belong to the magical girl series Tosshi favored, and his curiosity is immediately piqued.

Gintoki practically giggled, his eyes were already scheming. Is this Hijikata’s porn stash? How bold of him to place it with the rest of his discs.

What was he into? Bondage? Public? Netorare? Role play? Or better yet… police officer role play? Gintoki smirked. Just imagine the possibilities if that were it.

His fingers fumbled with the disc and he may have pushed it in the slot a little too forcefully, but he was grinning as the screen clicked on. What dirt was he going to get on Hijikata today?

It was blurry. Nothing was in focus. Already thirty seconds have passed. Unless Hijikata was into some weird blur fetish, Gintoki decided that this was probably just some badly made home video or something. Maybe a documentary about the Shinsengumi? But Gintoki had already watched ”Close Up! 24 Hours with the Shinsengumi Elite Police!” and he wasn’t impressed.

Gintoki took out second disc from another non-labelled case, but before he could replace it, the camera on screen focused on a very sweaty and flushed Hijikata Toushirou.

He was practicing with his sword, doing sets diligently with an intense focus. He didn’t even seem to notice that a camera was on him. Gintoki took a moment to admire the slip of sculpted chest before he snapped himself out of it.

Reaching for the remote to turn it off, he stopped abruptly when the Hijikata on screen glanced quite obviously at the camera. The timing was so right that Gintoki found himself just waiting to see what Hijikata would do.

Hijikata fixed his hair and Gintoki wanted to curse at that smooth-haired bastard. _We get it already— you look perfect, now go back to your training or something._

_Wait…perfect? What am I thinking?_

The Hijikata on screen smiles and Gintoki can’t help but feel a little caught off guard. He rarely sees Hijikata with such a pleased look on his face. And again with that crazy timing! It was like the Vice-Commander could read his mind or something. But that was impossible.

Gintoki watches as the smile on the Vice-Commander’s face tilts upwards into a smirk. Hijikata turns giving him a side view of his body and Gintoki looks momentarily at the curve of his back.

Hijikata glances back at the camera for a quick second, almost as if he’s making sure his viewer is paying attention, and he slowly slides his hands his hands down his chest, inching them towards the tie of his kimono.

Gintoki’s jaw drops. _He isn’t going to do what I think, is he?!_

Hijikata teases the strip of fabric, fingering the material and tugging ever so slightly. Gintoki’s mouth was dry. He kept his eyes glued to the screen. With just a small tug Hijikata could put Gintoki out of his misery. But he doesn’t, and instead goes back to his chest and then to his head, where he sweeps his hair back. Gintoki gets a glimpse of his forehead before the strands fall back down slowly to its typical shape. And Gintoki knows that Hijikata knows that he looks absolutely stunning because he looks like he’s about to grin.

And Gintoki wants to curse, half because he’s turned on and practically already half hard and half because he’s angry and just a bit jealous of whoever Hijikata sent this video to.

Despite every bone in his body (besides the one in between his legs) telling him to turn it off, Gintoki keeps his eyes on the screen like his life depended on it.

Hijikata moves his hands slowly back down from his head, taking his sweet time, to the tie around his kimono, the strip of material which, at this point to Gintoki, was just a downright offensive piece of cloth.

He teases it again, gently caressing it and looks like he’s about to finally tug it off but he slides his hands past at the very last moment, leaving the knot barely intact. And now Gintoki realizes why Hijikata chose to do it from this angle. He doesn’t think much would be hidden from the front. If he squinted, he swears he could see the other’s toned chest and abdomen and maybe _maybe_ even a small happy trail. The side view was much more conservative.

But the side view does have its benefits. And Hijikata smirks as if he knows this too. Gintoki could easily see the growing bulge where his legs met. Gintoki’s eyes linger and Hijikata’s hand reaches down to that area, touching oh-so-lightly above the cloth. He skims over it again and to Gintoki’s dismay before he pulls his hand away, he wiggles his pointer finger back and forth as if chastising him.

Gintoki actually lets out a groan at this. Never would he have guessed that the Vice-Commander was such a tease. The look in his eyes practically screamed amusement and Gintoki was surprised that Hijikata had such a playful side to him.

Hijikata takes off his sleeves and lets the kimono slip off his shoulders so that everything was hanging by his waist, only supported by the offensive strip of grey. He turns around, giving Gintoki a view of his back, and Gintoki watches mesmerized as the other stretched his arms so that the divot of his shoulder blade was more pronounced.

And the view that Hijikata offers next easily makes up for the loss he feels when his back is turned away from him. Hijikata finally gives the camera a frontal view and Gintoki immediately reaches down and unzips himself.

Hijikata approaches the camera and the look he gives it when he’s striding up to it is enough to make Gintoki heated. Gintoki feels that gaze like it was meant for him and he almost believes that it is for him, because who else would Hijikata look at with that intensity, and he lets out a groan that he doesn’t hear as his own, because he sounds so needy and passionate, and he doesn’t recognize it because he hasn’t felt this way before ever.

Hijikata looks as if he’s had enough playing around and with a single swift flick of his wrist unties his kimono and lets it fall to the ground. Hijikata isn’t wearing any underwear and Gintoki is so pleased that he isn’t and that he chose to go commando. He’s thrilled to find out that the man he so liked to tease was such a tease himself, and that he was _such a fucking_ _slut._ And Gintoki was so, _so_ turned on.

From the distance he was at to the camera, Gintoki could see everything. Hijikata was completely erect, the little striptease he had done was enough to make him hard. And even now, Hijikata teases him, gently playing with himself instead of roughly fisting it like Gintoki _knew_ he would like. He wanted to see Hijikata unravel, and from the looks of it, soon he would have his way.

Hijikata glances to the camera again as if looking for confirmation, no, as if _it’s spurring him on_ , and jerks himself roughly once. Hijikata’s mouth opens and Gintoki wishes not for the first time that the video had sound. He desperately wanted to hear his voice.

But all of a sudden, Hijikata looks panicked, and in a split second he has his cloths on. He rushes to turn off the camera just as the door opens and before the video cuts off, Gintoki sees a couple of men in Shinsengumi uniforms enter.

Gintoki practically screams in frustration. He was so close. So close!

His hands fumble as he tries to jam in the other disc, but sounds from outside stop him. He hears loud conversation and he recognizes the voices. Kondou was chatting, his words tumbling out like he’s had too much to drink, and the response he gets is from the person Gintoki cannot be caught by no matter what.

But his hand doesn’t stop, and no matter how much he knows that this is a totally bad idea, he keeps fisting himself. His heart is racing, beating so loudly that he swears everyone could hear it. And if that wasn’t going to get him caught then surely his breathing will. He was panting like crazy and he didn’t know if he was moaning or not, but if he was he wouldn’t be surprised, with how _desperate_ he was.

And he cums to the vision of Hijikata finding him in his room, and stripping, and being taken by him, and moaning underneath him with reckless abandon like he _knew_ he would.

And he curses as he shoves the TV back to the corner and dashes out the side door that Hijikata’s room thankfully had.

And he runs. He runs home and curses some more.

And even when Kagura’s yelling at him for not recording the show, Gintoki can’t help but curse and think only of one man, the man that had so captured him...Hijikata Toushirou.

 

**Author's Note:**

> The beginning of this was basically just part of episode 268. I really wanted to write Gintoki doing this so... here it is! 
> 
> NSH


End file.
